Back about seven years ago when I moved to Traverse City, I remember talking to Erica who was one of the administrative assistants at an Episcopalian church. We were both highly sensitive people who had a hard time dealing with people that were mean to us. I was shocked when Erica told me that some of the people that came into the office to talk to the pastor would be upset about something and yell at her. A few times, she even broke down and cried. Even, in a church setting there is anger, competition, and jealously. I can attest to this after two experiences I recently had.
#1) This year was my third Christmas season appearing in an outdoor play entitled the "Christmas Journey." Since the audience walks on a trail from one scene to the next, the actors have to perform the same scene over and over again for each group of people that passes through. It's a bit challenging to deal with the ever changing weather of a snow storm to high winds, to icy trails, and smoke getting into our eyes from the fire pits...but the show must go on. The volunteers who worked behind the scenes were friendly, humble, and warm, the performers....well that's another story. I was surprised at how big some of the performers EGOS were. It seemed that everyone wanted to be the shining star and outdo each other in the scene. A handful of teenage girls who I was in the scene with wouldn't even acknowledge me and I even caught them laughing at me. At one point I was getting so irritated that I almost left but since I had befriended a lovable donkey named Dottie who appeared in the "Bethlehem" scene I stuck it out. Lesson learned, not everyone's going to be nice, even in a church play.
#2) I decided to be part of a team of women who are putting together a retreat in May. We started meeting on Tuesdays in early November and sharing stories about ourselves and praying for one another, however some of the women who had their turn to talk about themselves went on and on, until finally the coordinator of the group, said "We need to limit our talks about ourselves to only 10 minutes." Out of those four weeks, I only spoke once about myself and my experiences. I just couldn't get myself to talk too much about myself because I wanted to be humble and unassuming. There was only one time when I volunteered to sing and share a Bible scripture that I was able to share a talent that was appreciated by them. Well this evening, we all had to pick what position each of us would hold during this retreat in May from being the retreat director to the facilitator to the witnesser to the music minister....the list goes on. For 35 minutes I sat in a circle with these women while all of them competed for their titles. It was really humiliating for me to be excluded from every title on the board. At one point when my name was finally mentioned, I repeatedly said, "You can take my name off the list, so and so is much better suited." The way these women were carrying on was just unbearable. I finally walked out of the room because I felt like a criminal among them. Lesson learned: EGOS ARE EVERYWHERE and to really survive one must not be too humble and soft spoken.
There's nothing wrong with having self-esteem and showing off ones skills and talents but when the EGO gets so inflated that it makes others uncomfortable, it's time to just remember that EGO also can mean"easing GOD out." If I could have one wish, it would be to witness moments of people having less ego and more humility.
Have your ever encountered a situation where a person or people were so absolutely entitled that they made you, a family member, or a friend feel like a doormat? During the Christmas season, let's all try to be a bit more humble.
MATTHEW 23: 12
For those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.
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