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Envy/Jealous Moments

  It's been six months since I posted anything. Now that it's a new year of 2023 I decided to write about something that hits me all the time, "jealousy." I know it's wrong to be jealous but sometimes it can't be helped. An example is KW, those are the initials of someone who I'm envious of. KW is the music director at the church I sometimes attend. I decided to join KW's choir because we met in passing one day in the church hall and had a stimulating conversation. KW invited to join the choir and I felt so intimidated by her on my first day of choir. Everything about KW is perfect. KW studied music at a prestigious school in Rome, Italy and received her Master's Degree from there. Not only does KW speak impeccable Italian but she's a first rate pianist, organist, and singer. At the age of 25 she's happily married, has adorable children aged one and two, and has a fantastic career. KW has older people in her choir that have life experiences and wisdom yet when KW talks, I feel like a tiny person with no brains or wisdom. KW seems to outsmart everyone around her.


I know it's wrong to be envious and jealous but I'm so much older than KW and a huge failure compared to her. I've never been married or had kids and for years I tried to find success in the performing arts field only to be rejected constantly. It's sad to be my old age and so unaccomplished compared to the impeccable KW. I wonder why life as to be this way, that one person gets all of earth's treasures and another just has one disappointment and rejection after another. As I begin the new year I'm going to try real hard not be jealous of others BUT it's going to be hard. Life isn't easy especially if one is always at the bottom, feeling like a reject. Do you every feel envious or jealous? Moments of envy and jealousy are bitter moments. 

May we all find some sort of comfort in the new year of 2023 that brings us peace, love, and happiness!


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